However, practically, we have kids who've been given so much, that the idea of working for things they want are foriegn.

At one point, they'd have had more work, and could have started a job at 14 — no longer.

Imagine the wealth we have to have the struggle of paying our kids to do something they should want to do…

Try verbal praise.

I give my adopted son as much work as I can, so he can learn to earn his money.

Preparation for life.

Getting good grades in school is easy — but what other activities can one do?

Finding things that motivate all of us to work hard is both easy and hard, but you can easily imagine as an adult that the most happy people in this world are NOT motivated by the money from their job, but from the value they provide to others, in my own case by serving and helping others.

My parents modeled this in their lives.

Are the parents giving them those other things besides be good in school? Do we ever as parents give our kids enough time?

Obama's group should look at this (matter of fact, both Dems and Repubs should look at this).

Far better to drop the financial incentives and try to instil a genuine appreciation for school. Without a strong internal motivation, any work is bound to suffer. Plus, poor schools quickly teach students that school is about jumping through hoops, regurgitating answers and performing route tasks rather than teaching them any genuine appreciation for the subjects or the process of learning. Tying grades to money just emphasises this disconnect. Why do good in school? For some short-term monetary gains or for the pleasure of learning about the world and growing as a person – you can bet the former will produce the most apathetic students, no matter what the reward.

As one lesson I learned growing up and I see now with a new generation, paying kids for chores or tasks you expect to be done doesn't teach them values, it teaches them that you perform in order to get paid. Once they get a job or realize they don't need the money their compliance falls dramatically. There were several famous psychology studies which showed that people enjoyed performing dull tasks more when they were given meagre rewards (a small cookie or a couple quarters) rather than when they were given a big reward (tens of dollars). Why? When the reward was small, they found satisfaction in the task itself; when the reward was larger, they felt dissatisfied because the money wasn't more and that it didn't justify the work they had to do.

I've no experience trying to undo a program like this, but I think the best long-term course is to stop paying your children for good behaviour but rather to teach them why behaviour is good in and of itself. They sound old enough to understand, give it a try.

They mastered extrinsic, but the intrinsic motivation is the area they need to work on. Then, pass what they learn onto the kids. Teach them what options a good education and hard work will get them in the future. Teach them a sense of pride. Tell them they are “really proud of them for working so hard”, or “really proud for improving their grades”, and when adults come over, make sure the kids are within earshot, but not in the room, and in the “adult conversation” go overboard and brag to the other adult about how great it is that the kids are working hard at school, and improving their grades.

What I'm about to say, is a little “after school special”-ish, but tailor it appropriately.

Tell the kids, they are going to throw a party for them at the end of the year, with all their favorite foods, invite all their friends, relatives or whatever the kids like. But make sure, some smart adults are there. Tell them, at the party, they are going announce the “best student of the year award”. The best student will win something valuable – but do not disclose the prize. Tell the kids, its on the order of $1000 in cash value – right up front, but do not go into any details and do NOT give any clues. Drop subtle hints, that the impressing the adults that are coming to this party, could have other benefits. Make up stuff that would be important to the kids.

…basically, give them a reason, to want to win this award of “best student”, so that they want to learn on their own, as well as win the prize. Make them think, the party is a big deal, and that the award would be something to be really proud of. Make a countdown, or something….build suspense.

Then, give them a prize…and make the prize a little lame, but still “good”. When the kid looks a little bummed, explain how valuable the education they got was, and that the prize is really nothing in comparison.

http://www.ferris.edu/htmls/academics/center/te...

Goodluck,
Jeff

My take: The parents failed, so for the sake of the children, Uncle Hitler should move in, strip the parents of their rights, force his adoption through the courts and raise the kiddies in a proper program named The Hitler Youth.